Prussia's Jiggling Pubic Hair
by shinattyjizzrainbows
Summary: <html><head></head>The most random, short, retarded little confusing drabble things you will ever read. CRACKNESS. multiple pairings</html>
1. I'm Dreaming of a Horny Christmas

**A/N: So, we were using http : / prillalar . com / drabbles/ (remove the spaces) to create retarded little drabbles like this one and we decided to put them up here C: ENJOY THE RANDOMNESS.**

**I'm Dreaming Of A Horny Christmas**

It was Christmas Eve. Ivan sat sexily bent over a table, sipping sexy eggnog.

He looked at the hot vibrator hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Alfred had hung it there, just before they looked at each other passionately and then fell into each other's arms and spanked each other's penis.

If only I hadn't been so hairy, Ivan thought, pouring a erect amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Alfred might not have got so arousing and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a vibrating tear and held his nipple in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then an orgasmic voice lifted heatedly up in song.

I'm dreaming of a horny Christmas

Just like a threesome of horny bunnies on viagra

Ivan ran to the door. It was Alfred, looking slippery all over with snow.

"I missed you teasingly," Alfred said. "And I wanted to rub your penis again."

Ivan hugged Alfred and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Alfred said.

"I think so too," Ivan said and they spanked each other's penis until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted chicken eye socket and lived expertly until Ivan got drunk again.


	2. The Hot Stranger

**The Hot Stranger**

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Russia strode along the path, making for Vibrating Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Sexy Vibrator, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Penis.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his orgasmic Primorsky just in time to face the arousing man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The man struck heatedly, and Russia barely raised his Primorsky to meet the attack. They fought long and teasingly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Russia found himself forced to one knee, the man's Primorsky pressed to his erect pubic hair. "I am America of Vibrating Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Sexy Vibrator. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you bent over a table."

But Russia had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his Primorsky with a twist, overpowered America and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Russia said, looking down upon him.

America's nipple shimmered like a threesome of horny bunnies on viagra. "I have underestimated you, Russia. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Russia's desire was enflamed. His pubic hair throbbed and all his thoughts were to rub America like a horny bunny. Russia caressed America's horny nipple and he responded. They came together expertly, and their joining was as hairy as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet poland's pony!" Russia groaned and spanked America as sexily as he could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Russia said. "That's where I put the Sexy Vibrator for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed passionately on the grass, forgetful of all but their slippery love. "We will stay together forever," America said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Penis never got the Sexy Vibrator and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.


	3. The Adventure of the Horny Bunny

**The Adventure Of The Horny Bunny**

Russia and America were out for a vibrating Valentine's walk bent over a table. As they went, America rested his hand on Russia's nipple. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so erect, Russia was filled with slippery dread.

"Do you suppose it's hairy here?" he asked expertly.

"You sexy silly," America said, tickling Russia with his sex toy. "It's completely arousing."

Just then, a hot horny bunny leapt out from behind a poland's pony and spanked America in the pubic hair. "Aaargh!" America screamed.

Things looked sexalicious. But Russia, although he was horny, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a vibrator and, like a threesome of horny bunnies on viagra, beat the horny bunny sexily until it ran off. "That will teach you to rub innocent people."

Then he clasped America close. America was bleeding passionately. "My darling," Russia said, and pressed his lips to America's penis.

"I love you," America said teasingly, and expired in Russia's arms.

Russia never loved again.


	4. Soon Tripping

**A/N: This was done by my fwend Antwise~ he was just introduced to drabblemaker, so yeh. ENJOY.**

Soon Tripping

Ivan tripped along nowhere. He was on his way to meet his lover, Alfred, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a Tentacle Monster hopping along, carrying a doorknob in its mouth.

Ivan was almost in the sexy box when he came across a cuddly cake, lying alone on a blissfully plate. "That must be a treat from my obediant bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked swiftly, so he ate it.

It gave him the most horny tingling sensation in his asshole. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Alfred.

When Alfred came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Ivan cried quickly.

"Your big right toe! And your penis!" Alfred said. "They're powerful! Can't you feel it?"

Ivan felt his big right toe and his penis. They were indeed quite powerful. "Oh, no!" Ivan said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that cuddly cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Alfred said. "I got you a cheetos. It must have been that elegant man who lives nearby. He acts a little accidentally, ever since he thrusted a wall."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Ivan sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Alfred said underground, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your big right toe is really fucktastically like that."

"Really?" Ivan dried her tears. Ivan kissed Alfred and it was an entirely irresistable sensation, like a bunch of teens in a room with scented aphrodisiac candles naked.

They spent the night having entirely irresistable sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.


End file.
